I hadn’t actually counted the number of days I had left in my college town until I started to write this post. I now feel significantly more upset than I did before, but I’ll do my best to ignore and suppress – the healthiest way to deal with negative emotions.
So yes, as the title suggests, in less than 2 weeks my lease will be up on my apartment in Columbia, and I’ll be heading back to the dirty Myrtle for at least a month until I figure out what’s next. Ideally/hopefully one of the internships I’ve applied to will pan out and I’ll be living somewhere like New York or Salt Lake City in a few months, but only time will tell. Either way, whether my internships come through or not, I’d like to move out of Myrtle and at least get a job somewhere fun like a book store or a coffee shop. I want to be able to keep working on my writing, which I’ve finally decided to start taking a little bit more seriously, and hopefully before the end of this year I’ll have at least a few pieces I feel good enough about to start sending to random sites or publishers to try and get my stuff circulated a bit. I just want to be able to string together some words that tell stories to make people forget how shitty the world can be and make them feel ALIVE. That’s a bit of a tall task, so for now I’ll just settle for being able to make someone’s day a little brighter with my writing.
But what do I write? That is the ultimate question.
I’ve started a few things, but they all seem dumb or too close to other things I’ve read or seen to be considered #original. Some days I feel inspired as hell by something I’ve read, or music I listened to that day, or just whatever mood I’m in. Other days, (most days, if I’m being honest), I spend most of my time telling myself I’ve got nothing to say that hasn’t already been said, and I should probably just stick to reading other peoples’ successful work instead of trying to create any of my own.
For now, I’m going to try and enjoy what little time I have left in Columbia, spending every second I have with the incredible group of people I’ve become such good friends with in such a short time, and trying to tell myself that moving forward is good, even if it makes me so unbelievably sad to be leaving everyone I love.
I’ll post more about these amazing people another time – they deserve a blog post all to themselves. In fact, they deserve a novel all to themselves. If I ever figure out how to silence that annoying-ass critic in my head long enough to get anything written, then my friends will absolutely serve as inspiration for whatever story I have to tell.
Until next time,